Okay — it’s Halloween and I’m really hopped up on leftover candy from the office Trick or Treat, so I’m going to talk nonsense about something Halloween-related that people either love or hate with a passion of a thousand burning suns: vampires.

Vampires like Dracula and Nosferatu used to be something to be feared and despised — but along came Anne Rice, and then everything about the vampire myth got turned on its head.

Fast forward to twenty years later, and vampires are now either alien technology nanomachine-infused super-powered beings, or repressed teenage fantasy boyfriends that sparkle in sunlight.

But in a four versus seven competition between The Crusniks of Trinity Blood and Coven Cullen from Twilight, I would still toss my lot in with the anime vampires.

(The possibility of Cain turning into a stark raving lunatic and killing Lilith notwithstanding, thereby decreasing the Crusnik ranks by half, I still think that Abel and Seth will do fine on their own. After all, they are vampires — that feed on vampires.)

So how will this play out head-to-head? Aside from superior numbers, the Cullens have a mindreader and a seer on the team, so the odds should be stacked in their favor, right? Well — it will, at least until the Crusniks make their first kill and use the fresh blood to activate their nanomachines

Supposing this came down to armaments: how would both teams fare? Team Cullen has a fleet of fast cars and a nearly inexhaustible supply of ready cash at their disposal. Team Crusnik has a giant floating fortress shaped like an inverted cross. You and I both know this is not going to end well.

Last but not least, is attitude: how would their personalities fare in a battle for survival? The Twilight vampires will fare well in this — the Cullens are all about love, loss, and despair. The Crusniks are also about love, loss, and despair. And implied incest. And murder. And ghei. The ghei wins this, I think.

In conclusion, I am a fangirl, I am extremely biased, and this argument has been rendered moot because Trinity Blood already won by virtue of their OSM costume design (and wicked cosplay potential). Time for more candy corn and gum balls!