I am so pissed at the election news coming in — I need to brain fart, otherwise I’ll get myself too worked up and start foaming at the mouth. Here’s my wish list of the top five things I wish were true about the Macross universe.

Valkyrie, Gerwalk, and Battroid Modes

Caught in heavy traffic? Valkyrie mode! Need to coast around looking for a parking slot? Gerwalk mode! Need to bitchslap someone for giving you a ticket? Battroid mode! Okay — you will be needing a pretty large garage to stow your VF25 in, but come on it would be totally worth it! Monday morning traffic in EDSA will never be the same again ❤

Fold Drives and Potable Fold Boosters

You know that sinking feeling you get when your date texts you that she’s already at the Starbucks across the movie theatres, and you’re still just about to hop into the shower? Now you can save yourself the trouble of a hasty cab ride and please your girl at the same time with the help of the time and space bending capabilities of the Fold drive! If you’re a tree-hugging, cheeseburger-hating troglodyte who despises technology, it also comes in 100% organic Vajra flavors — FTW!

Giant Space Colonies and their Armadas

Forget getting sunk off the coast of England by a freak storm — your Armada isn’t a box of toothpicks sporting sails, it is a flotilla of armed-to-the-teeth space battlecruisers capable of slicing a planet in half if it blocks your view of the Crab Nebula. As for the colonies, they are massive enough to contain shopping malls built for full-sized Zentraedi — they just have to be careful where they step.

Super Efficient Recycling Plants

There is no garbage to speak off on the space colonies because everything gets vaporized back to its molecular state and then recycled back into basic raw material. There’s no need for landfills, treatment plants, and incinerators. Hell, even dead bodies can be recycled! Mmmmmmmmm cheeseburgers~

Idol Singers that Kick Ass

No battleship? No problem! All you need is a mike, a very large speaker, and a sassy young thing in a mini skirt ❤ Okay, granted — Sharon is not a sassy young thing in a mini-skirt, but one of her holographic projections is and that counts! Plus, she can take over the Galaxy network mainframe whenever she damn well pleases — I’d like to see Minmei do that.

Oh — and I was just curious, if I helped put together a local Macross fan con, would you go?